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Teagan Presley
Well, since Pudge wants to fuel my disgusting porn addiction, he has asked me to pick a broad every month and tell the fucked up reasons why I like her. So, this month I'll pick my current porn favorite and I'll rate my favorite by whether or not I would let this broad jam somethin' in my ass, or how many tissues I use.
Teagan Presley looks just like Brittany Spears, but does all the good shit that bitch wants to, but thinks she's too good to do...unless you're a washed up faggot dancer that hasn't shaved for a month and wears a hat crooked. ANNNNYYYYWAYYYYYY, this chick is 20 years old, just signed to digital playground, and just had a kid. The older movies she's in are good, but I need production value to rub one out, too (I'M REAL FUCKED UP).
Look for movie titles like Weapons of Ass Destruction. Personally, I'm a big Jacks series fan, and she is hot as hell in all of 'em. Another good one is All American Girl, but the only bitch I have with this one is all the god damn music. No audio - if I wanted to watch a porno with all music they'd call it mute and give you a fuckin' CD!!!!!!!!!!!!! But, if you're married, or have some other crazy porn hating dingbat, and want your wife to think "Oh, he's watching PBS" cause of the shitty music, then it's all you.
But this broad does it all. I recently saw her at an appearance in the Harrisburg area (side note: they always put porno chicks along the wall of dildos for some reason - my guess is it's funny to the owner) and there was a fuckin' midget sittin' on her lap and they look at me like I was all fucked up for laughin'. Back to the the important shit - I like to see how these chicks look up close; like if Maaco did their make up with bondo. It gives me the creeps.
Well, Teagan didn't disappoint. She was smokin' and even hit on my dam girlfriend. I was like WTF - just my luck . Well, check this chick out, I promise she won't disappoint.
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